Southern Iraq

I don't want to say too much because we are not done with our mission
yet, but for the first time since we have been here I got a chance to
go to southern Iraq. It was quite a trip. We did most of the travel
south of Baghdad during the daytime and I got to see the countryside.
It is a lot different than what I think most people imagine. There
were the occasional stretches of desert that were beautiful and
strange in their own way, but most of the scenery consisted of marshes
and lush farmland. The area between the rivers here is very fertile
and wet. We got to see lots of camels and goats. We got to see lots
of oil exploration equipment too. The base where we stayed was around
the archeological site of the ancient city of Ur. This is supposed to
be the same city where Abraham was born and were he was supposed to be
sacrificed to idol gods. In the middle of the site there is one of
the most preserved examples in the world of an ancient ziggurat. It
is quite likely the site of Abraham's attempted sacrifice. It was
amazing to be able to see it. I think I am the only one in the group
that knew what it's significance was though. It's a shame that this
part of the world is so inhospitable and violent. There is a lot of
special stuff to see over here.

It was a long trip, and one that I will have to make more often. For
now I am just glad to have a couple of days to rest before I have to
do anything like it again.

Back at Home??

I finally made it back to my little old room in Iraq.  It was a terribly long trip to get back here.  We were held up for a couple of days in Kuwait waiting for available space on a flight back to Baghdad and then in once there had to wait another day for available space on a helicopter back to Taji.  The trip going home was long too, but then it seemed worth it because you were going home.  Coming back just didn't seem like it was worth all the trouble.  The helicopter ride was fun though.  I think the pilot was showing off though as he did some interesting acrobatics.  When we got on the ground I told the guy next to me that things like that are the reason riding roller coasters at Six Flags just don't do anything for me anymore.  Real life thrills are much better!

We are getting ready for our first mission since returning.  That means getting our weapons back and getting ammo; checking the truck out and catching up on all the things that we missed. It's amazing how fast it has taken for all this to seem normal again.  I'm right back into the swing of things.  At least this time it is the last time I will have to make this trip.  It's all downhill from now on.

Some Thoughts now that I Have Time to Sit and Ponder

It is hard to know how you have changed until you come home and are put back into your old life. I think there have been changes at home too, but not as big as I feared might be. I have changed a lot more more than I thought that I had. Mostly in my attitude and self confidence.

I thought today about how more open I am to doing any job. I have always thought that I would make a good teacher and would enjoy the job, but I have alway been hesitant in “being a teacher”. I guess if I was honest I thought that being a teacher would be a wast of my potential. I don’t feel like that at all anymore. Before now I have always wondered if I would be able to really accomplish something in my life. A lot of potential career options have always been open to me but I thing that I was not open to them because I didn’t see them as a way to lead to personal accomplishment. I realize not that I don’t worry about that anymore. I really feel that what I am doing now is a personal accomplishment worthy of a lifetime. I have made the decision to stay in the military and become an officer which means possibly more deployments in the future. I never anticipated that these decisions and my service in Iraq would bring me such a sense of accomplishment. I don’t care if all I ever do from this point out it just teach, or just fix cars or just drive trucks or just....anything. I am not worried about success anymore because I feel that I have already proven myself; to myself as well as others. I think that I can now just go to work doing anything and just do a good job an be happy with myself. I don’t think I realized how much I doubted myself and how serving in Iraq would give me confidence.

Not only am I more confident but I have learned some other lessons that have helped me feel more like an adult. Julie and I have talked a lot about what makes a person an adult and what concepts a person must understand before they can be considered a mature adult. I think that just as we measure the physical and cognitive progress of children as they grow up we can measure the cognitive progress of young adults to see how they are developing into adults. Just as there are milestones in the growth of young children, there are milestones in the maturation of youth into competent adults.

One of the first that we have discussed is something that happened to me on my mission and something that happens to Julie around the time we had children. That is the realization that my parents were just ordinary people just doing the best that they could to raise us. I could see them for imperfect people that they are and yet not be angry about it but draw closer to them because of it. I felt that I truly understood my parents. With the arrival of children and the added responsibilities of raising a family those feelings have only been reaffirmed. I think that this is one of the first milestones of adulthood: true independence from your parents.

I reached another milestone while I was in Iraq. Like the first one, this one seemed to come as a light bulb turning on in my head. While I was pondering wether or not to re-enlist I had the realization that sometimes in life we need to do difficult things. My whole life I have tried to find the path that would lead to the most comfortable life. I misunderstood the old adage that you should do for a job something that you would do for free and then you would never really work in your life. I have been searching in vein for that career that would just be roses and cake every day and bring me true joy. The problem is that I have avoided doing anything unpleasant. The fear of doing anything unpleasant has kept me from doing anything important. I realized that I was wrong to try and avoid difficult and unpleasant things. This life is not supposed to be easy. I knew that I needed difficult things in my life to give it purpose and to keep me always growing and improving myself. Since I have realized these things, really realized them and internalized them, I have found a comfort and a joy in my life that I would never have thought could exist in such difficult circumstances. I really have come to like my job in Iraq and feel that I can do anything and not let my job get me down. I feel that this realization of the reality of life and the importance of embracing the difficult things of life is another huge milestone in my maturation. I have often thought that I don’t feel like an adult. I think that with this I have taken a step closer to feeling like a true man. I hope that it isn’t fleeting. I hope that once I get home and get back into the routine of ordinary life that I don’t forget this lesson. But the way that I am actually looking forward in a way to my return to Iraq and the way I have positive feelings about the work that I am doing there I have confidence that it is a real change in my attitude that will have staying power even after I come home. That is good for my family and good for me.

Camp Taji From a Blackhawk

Mid-way Report

Well this is the halfway point of my leave.  I am settling right in.  I ran around like crazy the first couple of days getting all the "must do" items out of the way, like eating mexican food and going shopping, and now I am just sitting around watching missed "Lost" episodes and playing video games.  Life is sweet!  I bought Julie a new computer for her birthday, so that she can keep in touch with me better, and then had to go to Ikea to buy a desk to put it on.  Poor me :).  I've been to Fort Worth and Dallas and Southlake.  I even made it to the temple last night with Julie.  Tonight we are sending the boys away and grilling expensive steak and steaming expensive shrimp and going to just have the whole night together.  On Monday, I am going to opening day at the ballpark.  It will be the first time I have ever been to opening day.  I am really looking forward to it.  In too short a time I will have to go back, but I don't like thinking about that!  For now I am just enjoying my vacation.