Stress

I was surprised tonight to realize how well I have gotten used to the stress of our missions.  I've been driving down the same stretch of road for so long now that it has almost become commonplace.  As I sat there thinking about what I was doing, that I was actually looking for bombs that people might have placed on the side of the road, I realized how normal that had become and how little thought I had given it up until then.  Then I realized how alert I was and how tense I was and that I was always like that but that I hadn't really thought about it before or noticed.  It is amazing how well we cope with situations that we are put into.  Situations that if we were to step back and really thing about we would be very uncomfortable.  Suiting up and looking for bombs is just my job and it is what I do everyday.  It's become so common that I don't even think about it.  But that doesn't mean the stress isn't there.  It doesn't mean that as I am driving down the road my adrenaline isn't pumping or that I am not running through all of the scenarios of "what if" in my mind just in case.  It's just that now it's normal.  

I am back safe once again.  One more trip down and one less to do before I get to go home.  I'll be glad when I don't have to look out for bombs on the side of the road anymore.