The Poor

This isn't going to be a post about the war.  It is going to be a rant about my frustration with conservatives in Arlington.  

I am tired of being lumped in with the perpetual welfare recipients.  I am tired of the attitude that people have of the "poor people" in Arlington.  Yes, there are people who do not and will not ever contribute to society.  Some of them even live in Arlington, but most people who fall bellow the poverty line are like Julie and I.  We are young students who are in school or who just finished school who are trying to start our lives.  We have to start it from scratch and that means we might need a little help.  Most of us will go on to pay back society for what we take when we are young many times over.  We won't live below the poverty line forever.  

I am so tired of conservative and libertarians of our city who only judge all of us to be the same and unworthy of a place in society.  No public transit for the "poor".  No help from the city to help "poor" kids participate in recreation programs.  Why do I need to pay for the "poor" to do anything.  If they were meant to be part of society they wouldn't be "poor".  Their attitude is racist, bigoted and prejudiced.  Those are serious accusations, but they drip of the truth.  Judging all "poor" people as being the same, in such a negative way, is the definition of bigotry. It smacks of classism and European conservatism.  It denies people the dignity of being individuals.

It's funny how when I tell people that I am a soldier and that my family takes advantage of the grants and programs offered by the government for "poor" people how they show compassion and say, "of course we are willing to pay to help a soldier's family, it's just all the other's who don't deserve it that we won't pay for."  Once I am no longer a faceless member of the ranks of the "poor" it is ok.  Once I am a person with an understandable circumstance they are willing to pay.  Why then do we assume that everyone who needs these services is any less deserving than I?  Why are the 30,000 students at UTA ignored when talking about the "poor" who would benefit from mass transit, or public spaces or public programs?  Why are the young people of the city overlooked and ignored?  

The results are obvious if you look at them.  Young people are leaving Arlington.  Academics call it "white flight", but all it really is is the discouragement that young people, just starting out in life, feel about a city that doesn't care for them.  They leave, and their parents leave.  Once enough start to leave, the city has a reputation. 

There are other factors of course, but as a person who wants to see the city succeed and as a young person trying to start out his life, this is the one that affects me the most.  I wish these people would leave their houses and go talk to the people that live in their city with them.  Find out what their situations are and realize that most of these people, if encouraged to stay, will eventually become solid contributors to our community.   The huge majority of "poor" people don't stay poor.

Well, there it is. More war stories later...

Stress

I was surprised tonight to realize how well I have gotten used to the stress of our missions.  I've been driving down the same stretch of road for so long now that it has almost become commonplace.  As I sat there thinking about what I was doing, that I was actually looking for bombs that people might have placed on the side of the road, I realized how normal that had become and how little thought I had given it up until then.  Then I realized how alert I was and how tense I was and that I was always like that but that I hadn't really thought about it before or noticed.  It is amazing how well we cope with situations that we are put into.  Situations that if we were to step back and really thing about we would be very uncomfortable.  Suiting up and looking for bombs is just my job and it is what I do everyday.  It's become so common that I don't even think about it.  But that doesn't mean the stress isn't there.  It doesn't mean that as I am driving down the road my adrenaline isn't pumping or that I am not running through all of the scenarios of "what if" in my mind just in case.  It's just that now it's normal.  

I am back safe once again.  One more trip down and one less to do before I get to go home.  I'll be glad when I don't have to look out for bombs on the side of the road anymore.

The Worst Dust Storm Yet!

We are back in our tents at VBC after one interesting adventure. Outside the worst dust storm I have yet seen is raging. The wind is blowing hard and visibility is down to just a few feet! I have seen a lot of dust storms, but nothing like this. We were lined up earlier to leave on our return trip to Camp Taji when the storm blew up. It was already pretty bad out there, but we had gotten special permission to roll without air support. We were just starting our roll when the word came down that the mission had been canceled. We just had one problem. Our convoy was lined up at the gate with no room to turn around. We had to leave the gate, go down the road a couple of miles to a point were it was wide enough for us to turn around and then come back in the gate. The whole trip couldn’t have been more than four miles, but it took us 30 minutes. Even with his tail lights on, I couldn’t see the truck in front of me if he got more than 30 or 40 yards away. We crawled along with only our headlights on because any more than that made things worse.

Right before we rolled out we picked up an extra passenger. He was a First Sergeant from a company here at VBC that needed to get to Taji for some reason. When we got back inside the gate he asked if we could give him a ride back to his company. We said that we would, but it proved to be more difficult than we thought it would be. Once on post the storm got even worse. I couldn’t see more than 10 feet to either side of my truck. Our passenger tried to give us directions, but we couldn’t see any landmarks. I finally got as close as I thought I could to where he was directing us and told him he was going to have to walk. Being in the back of the truck where there are really no windows, I don’t think he understood how difficult it was for me to see anything. He seemed a little upset at my inability to find his stop until he opened the back door of the truck and was greeted by a wall of dust that blew into the truck as if it was water rushing in the open door. Our truck was almost instantly full of dust. He decided I had done a good enough job given the circumstances and quickly disappeared as he walked away. We drove back to our staging area and got our of the truck as quickly as possible. In the 40 or 50 yards from our truck to the tent we got covered in white dust like talcum powder. Most of us are still covered because we know that if we walk to the shower to get clean we will just be dirty again by the time we get back. Thank goodness for baby wipes!

Trip to VBC

I was going to write about my exciting trip to Victory Base in Baghdad, and how cool it is to be a soldier doing what I am doing, but then I read about Christian Hood's last mission he went on in Afghanistan and now I am not so sure I feel like bragging.  He is also in the Texas National Guard, but is serving in Afghanistan.  On his blog he writes of three days with no food or water at a mountain top observation point in the rain.  When they finally get to go home, they have to shoot their way through a Taliban ambush.  Wow!  Our night was not so bad compared to that.  We had to wait four hours on the highway for what is usually a 45 minute trip because a roadside bomb went off in front of us. They closed the road down.  I was going to complain about what it is like to just sit there waiting in the dark for some news or for the order to continue the mission.  How boring it is, and how tense it can be.  We were stuck on an elevated portion of a freeway in a location where the enemy likes to sit underneath and throw rocks or take pot shots at the trucks passing by above.  I had to leave the truck a couple of times to relieve myself, and my heart was in my throat each time as I left the relative safety of my big armored truck.  But after reading about Christian's experience, mine didn't seam so bad.  I had an air conditioned, bulletproof truck to sit in.  I am the driver so I have to most comfortable seat.  I had my iPod to listen to and watch recorded television shows on, and I drank cold soda from our cooler and had all the Doritos I could eat from the case that we carry in the back of the truck.  

I guess that I could die in a fiery bomb blast just as easily as Christian could be shot in an ambush, but I have to admit that I am a lot more comfortable and drive around in a lot more style than a lot of soldiers are and do.  If I ever found myself stranded with no food or water it would mean that things had really gone bad.  It's not likely to happen to me.   I guess I really don't have it so bad.  There is always someone who is in a worse situation than you are!  

More Pictures

These were large rooms that soldiers divided into individual rooms with plywood.

My room is at the end of this dark hallway.

The main hallway outside our little area.


Everyone seemed so interested I thought I would show some more.  It's not as nice on the inside.

Pictures of Home

Our company headquarters and main barracks.

There are showers in the portable building.  We also have indoor showers, but we have to clean those while contractors clean the portable!  Notice the bull on the ropes.

This is our courtyard, or "prison yard" as we call it.  Not too bad of a place to hang out... at least when it was cooler.

Vacation

I finally got around to writing something. I have been on “vacation” for the last two days. It was a surprise to me, but I have been trying to make the best of it. It started out quite different than it has turned out to be. About three days ago soldiers from the company headquarters came and found me just as I was waking up. They told me that I was leaving in about 12 hours to go on a four day pass to Qatar. I had been told a few weeks earlier that my name had been picked for an extra pass, but I hadn’t heard anything since then and had pretty much forgotten about it. Being in the army I am used to things changing. So I was pretty surprised when they actually came and told me I was leaving. I was also surprised to find out with such little time to prepare. I don’t know anything about Qatar or even why people go there on their passes. I guess they have set it up so that there are things that soldiers can do but as I asked around it all seemed to cost money. I guess the most popular thing to do their is drink. You can’t do that here, but you can there. Since I don’t drink that didn’t leave much. There is a mall, but I really don’t have much of a need to go shopping. That leaves restaurants like Chili’s. Basically four days of paying for all my own food and entertainment. I guess that is what a vacation is supposed to be, but I wasn’t really budgeting for it so the prospect was a little unnerving.

I know I am starting to sound negative about the whole thing, but I was starting to feel negative about the whole thing. To make it even less appealing, the trip down there is not pleasant. You have to ride a helicopter to Baghdad, and then an army transport for several hours to Qatar. All at strange hours. Finally once I arrived I would have to adjust to a day schedule and then adjust back to a night schedule once I returned. Pretty petty I guess. After all it is supposed to be treat and a vacation, but what I really wanted was just some time to relax. Not sight see, or go restaurant hopping or long hours of unpleasant travel, but just relax.

I was really nervous about it as I was getting ready to leave on the first leg of the trip a couple of days ago. I had to stay up all day in order to wait for our flight. The weather was bad, meaning of course too much dust in the air, so after waiting all day in the heat they finally cancelled out flight. Not only did we miss our chance that day to leave, They mixed things up and I didn’t get manifested on the flight leaving the next day. They said that I would have to wait on the standby list. I decided right then, after all my apprehension about the trip and after 24 hours without sleep, that I was going to ask if I actually had to go. I went back to headquarters and asked if I could just take my pass here on Camp Taji. They told me if that is what I wanted to do with my four days then they had no objection. I talked them into letting that first day be a travel day and not have my pass start until midnight. They told all the company leadership that I wasn’t to be touched or bothered or anything, and the let me go back to my room. I have been chilling ever since.

It has really been nice! I have gone to the PX and bought some souvenirs for my boys like I have been meaning to do for a while now and have spent some time in the gym. I have slept a lot and basically just done whatever I wanted to! I still have two more days of this and I think it has turned out great! I am still here, but I can feel the weight of my responsibility lifted off my shoulders and have been able to enjoy myself. And I have saved a lot of money!

Sand Storm on the Road

This is at about 4:00 in the afternoon!

About 100 miles south of Baghdad.

Dog Days

It's that time where it is close to us coming home, but not really close enough.  It's hard not to think about it and get excited about it and yet we still have a couple of months and a few missions to go.  One thing that makes it a little more difficult is that they are still adding all sorts of new things for us to do.  With such little time left, does it really matter if we start putting drip pans under our trucks when we park them?

I have also had a hard time lately because I was put in another truck.  I was made the driver in SGT Bruno's truck.  He was my TC all through training, and we were eventually separated because of personal problems between us.  I'm not sure what my platoon sergeant was thinking when he put us back together again.  At first we thought it was going to be a temporary assignment until I got put in charge of my own truck, but that never happened and now the assignment has become permanent.  At first we were professional and made it work because it was only supposed to be for one or two trips.  Now it has broken down to our old animosity and things are getting difficult.  We just don't like each other.  He wants to prove that I am only a specialist and he is a sergeant so he shows me little respect and treats me like an peon.  He doesn't "have my back" and is looking to call me out in front of everyone for anything little I might do wrong.  For my part I am frustrated by the lack of respect and fight his attempts at putting me down any way I can.  Shouting is often the result.  I think he is a terrible TC and a terrible NCO (and I know he knows that).  I almost want him to fail; 1) so he gets fired and I get his job, and 2) because he is always telling me how HE is in charge and that my opinion as a subordinate is irrelevant.  Since he doesn't want my input I take a perverse pleasure in keeping it from him even if it means his failure.  He sure does bring out the worst in me!  

I give most people the benefit of the doubt.  Even if I don't like someone I try to respect them as human beings.  I'm a nice guy.  But I hate this man.  Simple as that.  It is a problem and a sin but it's the truth.  I haven't felt this way about anyone in a long time.  I keep hoping that I get taken out of the situation and put back in my old truck, but the truth is I need to deal with my feelings and try to work it out.  Good luck to me!

Other than that I am well.  I am exercising a lot and wearing myself out.  I am healthy and am getting a lot of practice at my drawing and am showing some improvement.  I am gaining the respect of those around me (partly because they see how I've been treated and how I am handling it).  I am excited about having another baby! (Julie is pregnant if you didn't already know.  I had fun on my leave!) And I can't wait to get home.